Quicker Than The Wink Of An Eye

I have always loved the music of Jimi Hendrix.  There's something mystical and even ethereal with his songs that makes the Soul want to go out of the body and transcend all the limitations of this material plane.  

Last night while going home from a joyful celebration, P and I talked about my choice of songs for the night, Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, and the 27 Club. I then mentioned Jimi Hendrix and some of the more popular "members" of that so-call club.  I told P about this poem and I believe this showed the mystical side of Jimi.  In the 2008 edition of "'Scuse Me While I Kiss The Sky Jimi Hendrix: Voodoo Child" by David Henderson revealed aspects of Jimi's life and death and I believe the theory that he may have been murdered. Nevertheless, I still love this last poem written by Jimi on 17 September 1970, a day before he passed away.

The Story of Life

by Jimi Hendrix

The story of Jesus

so easy to explain

After they crucified him,

a woman, she claimed his name

The story of Jesus

the whole bible knows

went all across the desert

and in the middle, he found a rose

There should be no questions

there should be no lies

He was married ever happily after

All the tears we cry

No use in arguing

all the use to the man that moans

When each man falls in battle

his soul it has to roam

Angels of heaven

flying saucers to some,

made Easter Sunday

the name of the rising sun

The story is written

by so many people who dared,

to lay down the truth

to so very many who cared

to carry the cross

of Jesus and beyond

We will guide the light

this time with a woman in our arms

We as men

can't explain the reason why

the woman's always mentioned

at the moment that we die

All we know

is God is by our side,

and he says the word

so easy yet so hard

I wish not to be alone,

so I must respect my other heart

Oh, the storyof Jesus is the story

of you and me

No use in feeling lonely,

I am searching to be free

The story of life

is quicker

than the wink of an eye

The story of love

is hello and goodbye

Until we meet again

Rationalizing Our Mistakes

Rationalization is a process of not perceiving reality, but of attempting to make reality fit one's emotions.
- Ayn Rand

Sometimes, we make choices in life and when the fruits of our choices do not meet our expectations, we tend to make up excuses and find reasons not to admit that we unavoidably made mistakes.  Most of us would deny that our choices, when made haphazardly, bring about results which we are never prepared for.  Sometimes, some of us do not want to acknowledge our short estimations as mistakes and just accept the lessons brought about from the experience; instead, we squeeze all our mental capacities to make our realities fit into what other people or society expects of us.  

Rationalization is one of the best defense mechanisms one could hang on to whenever a supposedly intelligent human being is faced with the Reality that unsavory events in the past could have been avoidable if a better choice was made.  The thing is, most of us, when we are faced with situations point blanc, we rely on our impulsiveness instead of our intuition.  There are some of us who are truly intuitive beings (having tapped into the Source at a higher level), yet there are some who believe they are and blatantly tell the world about it.  As far as I have gathered, most (if not all) of those whose intuition levels have reached Godly heights, they do not mention anything about their attainment or if they do, they shroud them with veils which only those who could understand would be able to decipher.  

Anyway, why is rationalization easier to do than to accept one's decisions as mistakes?  Some people say that "there are no mistakes, just lessons"; I guess some of us could never totally accept our mishaps as the lessons they ought to be and we would want to reason out why we made those choices, why we acted that way, so on and so forth.  When we could not even put up a rational excuse, we would insist that we did the right thing because we followed the voice in our hearts.  True enough, we could never be at peace if we don't follow the tiny whispers of our hearts, it would be like betraying our Souls but if we're never really humble enough to admit that yes, this journey we call human existence is indeed a world of trial and error, we would really do what Ayn Rand said: make reality fit one's emotions.

I am not perfect and I do rationalize some of my actions.  However, there are some things I have learned in this bumpy ride through Life: one must learn to surrender one's defense mechanisms and just accept that at one time in one's life, one made wrong decisions and has learned from them.

If You Have Nothing Good To Say

Hello Blog. Your 3rd anniversary is fast approaching and as you sift through your contents you will realize that many things have transpired, many emotions have been expressed in words, and many things have been left unwritten (and unspoken). Haven't you wondered why, oh Blog? 

Blog, you know fairly well that I am more apt in expressing myself through writing than to speaking out the things on my mind. However, I have realized over the course of this journey that even the written word has power and vibrations which could cause ripples on a still lake and I am not that enthusiastic to cause a tsunami.  If I just kept on writing and posting what I had and still have on my mind, that would have revealed too much about myself which I am not ready to reveal to the mundane.  It may also cause discomfort and God knows what else that could make this plane less peaceful.

Many a time and oft I have encountered these words:

If you have nothing good (or positive) to say, keep your mouth closed.

I know, I don't write with the mouth but with my fingers and fingertips but it is basically the same.  I believe I have a better version though!

If you have nothing good to say or write during certain moments, better shut down your brain..

Crazy, but I believe it's the best solution to possibly chaotic impulsiveness.

Months ago, we had been warned by V to be mindful of what we say or post in 3d world or online.  WHY?  The reason is this: whatever we say or do, though it may be nothing or normal to us, it may mean something else to others. It is true.  Whatever we say or do may just be hilarious or serious but they could be misinterpreted by others.

I have struggled for many months on how to be mindful and I am not so sure if I have made any improvement.  I would like to think so but I believe I need to work more on it.

Being mindful does not necessarily mean repressing what we really think and feel about some things and situations but I believe that it is RESPONSIBLY EXPRESSING OURSELVES.  I have known far too many people who rely on impulse and say or post whatever they want to say to EXPRESS themselves freely and not minding to hurt other people directly or indirectly.  I believe I have done such things too and gave in to certain impulses but as I have said, I want to train my mind to be more mindful.  If we don't start training ourselves NOW, when should we do it?  Should we do it when our attention is called again to become mindful? Should we do so when we have hurt more people unknowingly?  Should we do it when we realize that we have been thinking erroneously for the longest time?  WHEN???

The past few weeks had been a whirlwind of flying daggers in guise of words.  Words which heal, defend, offend, hurt, etc etc.  I would rather receive cuts of those daggers straight to my face but there are cunning linguists who would rather throw the blades in various directions least expected say, the back.  To retaliate would defeat the purpose of learning mindful thinking and expressing of the egoic self and the true Self.  To keep silent does not indicate surrender to words said but express courage to face the sharpness of the blades.

Though I speak in vague and incomprehensible tongues of messengers, I would like to shroud my words for now.  

Since I have nothing good to say, I would just shut up and stop typing.

Until then.

The Truth Revealed

"I had a dream. In that dream I said everything I had to say, felt what I really felt, and released to the aether what needed to be released. It was just a dream but its intensity trembled the Pillars of Reality. It was so real, it jolted me awake. Did it wake you up too?"

If only what we do, say, smell, hear, taste, feel, etc etc in our dreams were real... We wouldn't have to go through all the trouble of breaking through the barriers of the material plane.

Dear God

Dear God,

How are You?  I am sorry for not being able to connect with You every moment.  I am trying to dwell in Your presence as often as I can but as You know, I am still on the process of shedding off the veils that hinder me from looking directly to You.

These past few months had been, by far, the most challenging of my earthly existence and I couldn't have made through each day if it weren't for Your Grace.  I am grateful that even though I have my shortcomings, I am still guided by Your Light and Love.

Thank You for putting all the challenges and people on my Path for without them, I wouldn't be able to learn more about You and mySelf.  Thank You for all the joy and sorrow that went together hand-in-hand with me on this journey for without them, I would not have learned what I have learned.

Thank You for giving me another day to dwell in Your Light...

I AM coming Home.  Please wait for Me.


I love You God.  Very much...

The Shaman

It was one of those seemingly uneventful starless nights when all that was visible amidst the dark backdrop was just the Moon, pregnant with light. I had been chasing a wild animal yet I was stopped in my tracks because as I was gaining speed and about to let go of my bowstring, the animal’s eyes flashed with reflected moonlight and caught me off guard. The beast ran away into the woods and I stood on that bare spot, dazed and dumbfounded. I then felt a sudden pain in my chest, as if I have been hit by my own arrow but I wasn’t. I didn’t know what to do so I decided to retreat and go home.

While walking and chasing my dark shadow, I felt again the unbearable pain in my chest and heard the incessant throbbing of my heart. I believed that I would collapse and lose my consciousness if I could not get to the tribe shaman’s tepee sooner. As I followed the trail of smoke that distinctively arose from his tent, I was surprised to see him come out of it and greeted me with his open arms. Teary-eyed, I was moved. It was like coming home to a father, even though he was not. Every person in our tribe treated him like he was our father and he in return treated all of us like his own children. Being the father we saw him to be, he must have felt my presence from afar and realized that I needed comfort that’s why I sought him.

He parted the entrance to the tepee and led me inside. There was a small pot hanging on top of the flames and he went to it, poured out the piping hot liquid into a wooden cup, and ordered me to drink. I followed his order hastily and I almost burned my tongue; I barely tasted the concoction of herbs which almost instantly made me feel a little bit better. He ordered me to sit down and I found my way to the block of wood where I always sat whenever I went there for a visit. He on the other hand, sat at the center of the Circle, beside the fire, where the flames reflect the Wisdom in his eyes.

“My child, I know that you are aware why you are feeling this way…and it’s not because you have failed to conquer what you have been chasing. You are not like most women in this village and you have proven that time and again, sometimes to the extent of becoming the subject of idle chit-chat among your peers. They will never understand you unless you will let yourself be understood. However, you don’t owe anybody an explanation of how you became who you are. I just want to remind you though that most of the troubles you are experiencing now are rooted inside of yourself. Don’t you think it is better that you slow down and maybe reflect for a while on what you really intend to do in your life? Have you ever thought of doing less strenuous work in the village instead of running around and hunting in the woods? Or have you considered arranging a union with a man and raise a family perhaps?”

I was taken aback by his questions. The shaman never spoke of those things to me whenever we had a chance to sit down in conversation. I was quite adamant and hurriedly replied, “I never thought my hunting is something people should talk about behind my back, nor my not choosing to settle down and make a family and become an obligatory wife to whoever woos me according to his whims! I didn’t grow up in a home where I felt what it is like to be in a real family. The whole village raised me and is my family, yet I never really felt what it is like to have my own mother and my own father that’s why I can’t say if I would ever want to have a family of my own. I don’t know if I will be able to fulfill that role. I am a wandering orphan, I lived my days at the mercy of those who pity my sorry state. I will not yield to domesticity just because I am a woman!” 

The shaman fed some twigs to the flame and the fire crackled as I raised my voice. He understood what I meant, he always did but the look in his eyes told me that what he wanted to point out was that I have become too resistant of so many possibilities that came my way; I may have blocked many creative opportunities and in that process have forgotten my principles. As a student of the shaman, I went to him often and learned more about nature and the spirit world as well as other worlds not seen by the naked eye. I have learned and came to believe that everything around us is the Work of One Hand and that Creator resides not only in the things and beings around us but also within us. Vision quests in the past have opened my inner eye to worlds and possibilities I have never imagined; sadly, I got myself distracted with my progress by preventing the changes on this plane from taking its natural course.

In a somber tone the shaman spoke, “Contrary to what you think, not all men are the same. We may all seem identical in your eyes but you know in your heart that we are not! Ha ha ha! Not all men are tough and insensitive. Not all men are weak and defensive. Like women, we could be complicated too but at the end of the day, we only want to rest in the arms of our beloved and feel peace.” 

I was silent for a few moments. I have never felt this awkward in his presence. I have always never felt comfortable talking to anybody regarding relationships and other related topics. Maybe he inserted that light laugh to ease the air a little bit. He then continued, “I know there’s somebody out there who tried to dance by the bonfire with you many moons ago but you ran off even before he got near you…and you’ve been running away ever since. Why? The answer is this: you are surprised that you are not the only one who knows the secrets I have shown you and you are threatened that you may be discovered by that person that you are not as tough as what most people think. I know everything about you my child, so don’t deny it. I know too that you have tried to open yourself and your being to that soul but as you always are, you became threatened that if you showed more of yourself, you will never be the same again.” 

I wanted to curl myself up in a ball and cry. I can never hide from the Truth and from the shaman who easily taps into It. I tried to hold back my tears while I tried to sit up straight and looked up to the hole where the smoke comes out from the tent. I thought that maybe if I remained in that position, the tears will not fall down. 

The shaman started talking again and his tone became more authoritative, “You have become engrossed with teaching that man how to tap into the Divine Spirit in him and around him, you have forgotten that the Divine Spirit also dwells in you and in him. You have become obsessed with teaching him how to do that and on the process, you have forgotten to teach yourself the lessons you need to learn. You have become preoccupied with the thought of helping him connect to the Source, you on the other hand are on the verge of becoming disconnected because you keep on avoiding the Divine Spirit in you to be tapped.” 

I have never expected that the shaman would talk of such things to me. I was appalled and silent. He continued to talk and said, “You have to remember this my child: the more you guard your heart, the farther you become from the Source. There are some things you need to experience in this life and you just have to let things be so you will learn the lessons that come after the challenges.” 

After saying what I felt was enough of what he wanted to say, he stood up and stood next to me. I thought he was going to ask me to leave but what he did was pick up my spear, my bow, and my quiver of arrows. He took them and went back to his seat in the Circle. I was prepared for another barrage of wise words but he kept silent. What happened next was something I never expected. The beast I had been chasing earlier, a white wolf, went into the tent and sat by my feet. As a hunter, I squirmed when I saw my failed conquest and I wanted to kill it immediately. However, as an unarmed woman, I decided to sit still and let things be. I knew the shaman would make sure that I would leave his tent unharmed. 

The shaman beckoned me to go near him and also gave the same gesture to the wolf. It felt awkward approaching the wise man with an animal by my side yet I trusted that there is a greater purpose why we had to do what we were told to do. When we reached the spot where the shaman sat, he showed us a bowl with water. What we saw were our reflections – I saw my face and the face of the white furred animal. The shaman then took out a pouch and from it, sprinkled a reddish powder into the bowl. Scentless fumes rose up from the water and he made us look into the bowl again. Again I saw my face and the visage of the wolf, but a few moments later, something weird happened to the water in the bowl. My reflection changed and so did the wolf’s. My face became the face of a black wolf while the white wolf’s reflection changed into a man’s face. 

Was it magick? Was it witchery? I touched my cheek to feel if my face did become an animal’s face and I was pleased my face remained the same. I turned my head to look at the wolf but I was surprised the one sitting beside me was the man I have been evading for many moons. 

The shaman cleared his throat and said this with a smile, “My children, the world has many questions which we want the answers to be made available to us. However, we must remember that the mysteries we seek to unfold are already inside our hearts.” With that said, the shaman stood up and left the tent. 

I remained seated by the fire and just stared at my companion. From a distance, I heard a howl break the silence. I just couldn’t help myself but smile. 

Then I woke up….

Evolution Revolution

Evolution. Evolution. Evolution. It’s just a nine-letter word but it reverberates like it is larger than life because it means so much to so many people. I, for instance, have been wanting to embrace the word, evolve, and improve myself not only in a single field but in every aspect of my life. However, the years of yearning left me relatively empty-handed, nothing much has changed and I wonder if my wanting is not enough to fuel my will to evolve. Am I really in this scheme of things where evolution is a necessity that I should not dismiss or shall I remain a lesser-being, a person with less-evolved skills or perhaps a devolved consciousness? 

Once and for all, what is evolution? My baser faculties would normally refer to a dictionary and find there a most basic definition: ‘evolution is development, progress or advancement’ of a thought, an idea, or an individual most probably. If my faulty memory serves me right, a great Greek philosopher once said that “The only constant thing in this world is change,” and he might then have referred to evolution as something that one can’t stop from happening in the natural scheme of things. If you are a creature of nature, you must go with the flow and grow! But then again, evolution may have a different meaning for every person who encounters it. 

As I have stated earlier, I am still wondering whether or not if my wanting to evolve is enough to move my will to do the necessary changing I must do and progress to become a better individual – a better artist, a better writer, a better student, a better teacher, a better daughter, a better friend, a better lover perhaps, or even just a better inhabitant of this planet. I know I have become redundant with the word BETTER but I do want to become better, and possibly the BEST that I could ever be and not just stagnate and remain a whining woman wallowing in this mediocre state that I am in. I HAVE to evolve. My consciousness MUST EVOLVE. 

I AM a student of life and its myriad of vicissitudes, and I am a student of mysticism as well. Adapting to changes not only in the environment but also within myself has become a constant struggle. My innate stubbornness to accept ideas alien to my own and to reluctantly succumb to the turn of the tides have left me somehow horrible. I am aware that I am resilient and could easily do what needs to be done on the surface but altering what has been rooted deep into my core could be compared to declaring war against an army of a million forces. 

Treading on unfamiliar terrain and going out of one’s comfort zone is something that I need to come to terms to if I really want to become an evolved being. If change is what I must do in order to become the best that I could be, then I would have to prepare myself of the most difficult and dangerous battle of my life – I have to declare war against my self, the ego, so that my true Self, the part of me that is a Spark of God, would be able to set itself ablaze and take me out from the darkness I have been lurking into for the past three decades. 

I believe in the Law of Karma which, if explained scientifically is akin to the Law of Cause and Effect or Newton’s Law of Action and Reaction. What we sow is what we really reap whether we have sown them earlier in this life or from a previous life. I believe that whatever I have done in the past are causing the effects that I am experiencing right now BUT I know I must experience all of these in order for me to realize that there is still hope for my soul. One day, I hope that day is soon, I will be able to show the world that I have evolved and become the best that I could be. I know I will be granted that privilege because I want to amplify my consciousness not only for myself but for this world which I want to serve for the rest of my life on this plane. If it pleases the Cosmic, it is done!

Another Flaming Sword

Cherubim and the Flaming Sword  
by J. Kirk Richards

A year ago, I dreamt of The Angel With The Flaming Sword.  It was a very insightful dream and all the characters in that dream surely went on a spiritual journey with me whether they intended to or not.  Most of us went separate ways and some chose to pass through the same portals.  Some may have went wayward while others played safe; there were also those who followed their hearts.  One way or another, all paths lead to the same destination.  With that dream and all the experiences that happened in the past year, this resoundingly comes to mind:

"Howsoever men may approach me, even so do I accept them; for, on all sides, whatever path they may choose is mine." - Bhagavad Gita 4:11

Last night, I heard that satsang once again - the one about the Warriors of Light.  I recalled my old blog post.  I also recalled the movies I have seen recently; most of them had swords and sword fights with knights in armor old and new.  I am not surprised that tonight, my random page from the book Heart (1932) from the Agni Yoga Society (El Morya's messages courtesy of Nicholas and Helena Roerich), is about spiritual armor.

157. The flaming sword is the ray of spiritual armor. The symbol of the swordlike ray has passed through all Teachings as a sign of the utmost rigor. Even peaceful symbols have affirmed the sword. This is not intended to represent the purpose of forcing, but a readiness to defend the most sacred. Thus, amidst the raging fire one can see a thin sword above the forehead of the warrior of spirit. It is a pity that the retention of the aura on a film is as yet so imperfect in the earthly world. Evident proofs of rays and other fires could be given.

I also recall a message about spiritual armor which I have encountered not too long ago.

Humility is finding strength in vulnerability.  Sometimes we need to take off the armour we have painstakingly put on ourselves to deflect the harsh realities if life.  We could humbly acknowledge our frailties by facing each day, stripping off barriers and buffers that easily rust, and clothe ourselves with armour made brilliant by the Light of Christ.  The breastplate of Righteousness, the belt of Truth, the shield of Faith and the sword of Will may all be figurative but they are more capable of bringing out the Warrior Within than the illusory trappings we have assumed could protect us.  Aside from these elements of the Light, the greatest weapon we could possess lies within our hearts.  True knights don't just possess shining armour but also hearts that bloom like roses.  This greatest weapon is useless with pride.  It has been said that Love is the greatest force in the Universe -- yet few know that only those who are truly humble could possess it.  - Leagan LaCapus

Dreaming of flaming swords quite too often is something that must not be dismissed.  To meditate upon this symbol is a must.  To meditate I must do NOW.  Until then...........

The Fireplace

Detail of Saint Sophia The Almighty Wisdom (1932)
Tempera on Canvas
by Nicholas Roerich

IT has been a while since she last set foot on the Master’s abode and she became ecstatic because she was finally allowed to enter the inner chamber and talk with Him. For many months, she thought that her journey on the Path has finally ended and she would not be allowed to go a step further. Nevertheless, reflecting and learning from her transgressions made her realize that everything that has transpired is a fragment of the Cosmic Plan and it is up to her to give up or keep going. 

With her heart beating in quadruple time, she finally reached the chamber portal and was left by her escort at the threshold. When she entered the door, she was surprised because the room seemed empty, she thought maybe she had to wait a while before she would be given the privilege of an audience. She walked around then found Him sitting by the fireplace, feeding logs to the golden flames. 

She hurriedly approached Him and knelt to kiss His feet, doing the exact same gesture she did the last time they seriously talked. As per usual, He commanded her to stand up and ignore the honorifics. She was so elated with the rare occasion and thus hurriedly exclaimed, “Oh Master, there You are! I am so happy to see You again! I have missed you for so long. I know that You have chosen not to see me for months because I have been lacking in tact when I talked about the things that You have said to me to those who were not ready to learn from them. I was wrong, I myself had not been ready to learn from what You have said. Now I can talk to You again and I am eager to learn more. I promise to be more careful this time. I am honored for this exceptional moment. Thank You!” 

“Ahh My child, I have been here all along, you just didn’t see Me because you have been too preoccupied in trying to disprove what I have told you a year ago. Can you still clearly remember what I have told you?” He asked her while giving her the same sly smile He gave her the previous year as he motioned her to sit with Him by the fire. 

She earnestly replied, “Yes, Teacher. I can still remember what You told me and it haunted me for many months! You are right, I had been trying too hard to disprove what You said and You are fully aware why I have been trying to fight it. I was just not prepared to face the challenges that came along my path. Everything flew by like a whirlwind and I didn’t know what to do. I have been trying to squeeze my brain dry for answers and all along, I missed the point of the whole reason WHY You told me what You said then.” 

“And what was the point?” He asked her. 

She was quite adamant but possibly, due to the circumstances that took place for the past year and maybe due to the effect of the mantra she had been seriously chanting for more than forty days, she resorted to yield and said, “The heart is where You dwell, and if I really want to become Your student that is where I will always find You. However, I have misinterpreted what You said. I believed then that what You said was quite vague and I took it seriously on its face value. I asked a sincere question and You gave me a sincere answer but I was just so blinded with many things I have overlooked what You really meant. I am sorry it took me too long to realize that.” 

He smiled and patted her right shoulder. He said, “You did nothing wrong. How you interpreted what I said was how it was supposed to be understood by you a year ago. How you went about with the choices you have made based on that interpretation was not wrong too because things were meant to happen as they were so you would finally reach this point where you are now at, so you would realize the true meaning of My answer. The thing with you My child, is that you had been too hard on yourself. You didn’t enjoy how the things in your inner and outer life unfolded because you were too concerned of what’s going to happen outside of you instead of what was to happen inside of you. You tried to stop things from happening smoothly in your outer world that’s why your inner world experienced what you have experienced. Am I right?” 

She knew that what He said was true and because of that she bowed her head. She then said, “Yes, You are right Master. I had been too concerned of what’s outside of me instead of what’s inside of me that’s why my life is in shambles. I kept asking for help from You and from the Others but I felt my pleas were never heard maybe because I was so preoccupied, trying to rationalize every single thing and not going with the natural flow of the Cosmos that’s why I didn’t realize then that You were with me all along…and You always will be!” She then timidly said, “I still have a question though, are You willing to take me now?” 

“Are you sure you want to be with Me now and become My serious disciple?” He retorted, albeit lovingly. 

With a deep sigh she replied, “In the physical world, You asked me a couple of months ago if I wanted to go with You and be among Your chosen Warriors but I said I was not sure. But I know that You knew then that in my heart I would go with You if you told me to. You did not force me to. I could have turned my back on everything and went with You. However, I have realized that You did not use force or coercion because You honor what we ordinary folk deem as free will and I believed that You still want me to learn what I need to learn in my world. During these past months, I have realized that I will be following You for eternity, but not in the usual conventional ways. You know what I really want, right? I will still keep the promise I gave You not too long ago. Lately my life became more challenging and I still believe I could give You what You want of me and my soul even though I am not physically near You. Twice I have failed to see You again in the flesh but both times, You sent Your messages to me through my friends so I could finally see You again right here, right now. I am grateful for everything. Thank You for putting wonderful souls on my path. I owe them a lot for helping me get closer to Your Light once more.” 

He placed another log into the fireplace and it was immediately licked by the flames. He spoke sincerely, “My dear child, when your friends came to see Me, I knew that a part of you was with them that is why I spoke of things I knew you will learn through them. There were some things of course which are solely for them to learn from. However, those that are also meant for you, you are now aware of. Use them wisely so that one day you could help others become aware of those gems of Wisdom too.“ 

She stared at the fire and tried to applied that experiment which gave one the power to change the color of the flames. She stared too long at one blazing tongue and whether her eyes were playing tricks on her or not, it turned into a deep violet. Silently she whispered, “I want to become a writer and write of the Path and all the glorious and sometimes unglamorous things that lead to It. I want to write from the perspective of a student who learns a thing or two from every opportunity and obstacle or challenge that sprouts up on the Path. These past few years of technical writing have stripped off the spark from my creativity and I want to revive that spark! Could You help me with that? I want to paint too! I know I could do better than what I have done before and I want to dip my brush into the Soul of the Universe so I could help others remember where we all came from. I also miss poetry. You are a poet; I hope You could give me some pointers.” 

The fire crackled and it snapped her out from her deep concentration and all the flames were golden once more. She looked at Him whom she hadn’t noticed had already stood up and stretched His arms and legs. She stood up too and expected that her visit already came to an end. 

“You already know what to do. Just always remember that I AM always with you. You may not see Me often but You know where I dwell. My face is just a face of an ordinary man, but You could still see Me in the faces and hearts of other men and women. You are already aware of this; you just have to remember and keep believing in it. Keep practicing what you need to practice and in due time you and the rest will know all of Me. Visit me again soon my child. If you will not come, I will visit you!” His serious tone then turned into a roar of laughter which somehow confused her. 

He led her to the door and made the salutation He taught her in a previous encounter and she was assured that His laughter was to lighten up her spirits, to relieve her from her drama. She gave Him the same salutation.  As the door opened, she turned and was about to ask him one more question for the road. However, when she turned and looked back, He was no longer in sight. 

Then she woke up. 

She inhaled the cool air of the morning and parted the window curtains in order to see and say hello to the Sun. She looked at her bedside table and picked up the blazing red and orange book, one of the many books she borrowed from her friends. She randomly opens a page or two every day and reflects on the first verse that catches her eye. 

She remembered that she didn’t have the chance to ask Him her last question before she woke up. Yet He gave her the answer she needed: 

150. If I say that I am always with you, will many believe it? They would even fear to believe in the united consciousness. For them, each such union is an intrusion upon their selfhood, and as such is entirely intolerable. They will never appreciate the tenfold multiplication of energy born of the cooperation of consciousnesses. But without such cooperation the entire Teaching of the Heart would be impossible. Why all details if there cannot be mutual fortification? But if this principle is attainable, then its enlargement to the full union of consciousnesses, which is called "Paloria," is also possible. But, then, how greatly can the work of those who acknowledge and have attained the unification of consciousnesses be extended for the General Good! Of course, I speak of the inner spiritual work, which the blind can neither perceive nor appreciate. 

The summons to a unity of consciousnesses is necessary everywhere, because this is the simplest introduction into the life of the heart. This is not sorcery but a physical law that can weave a salutary net around the planet. Thus, everyone who follows the law of Being can justly consider himself a citizen of the Universe.

 © The blog author reserves the rights to this story.  

The First Cycle

Hello world!  I now see you with eyes three decades old!  Hahahahaha! I recently celebrated my birthday over the weekend without much of a physical celebration but of a celebration on a different plane.  My heart rejoices for all the blessings and lessons I have received for the past year and I am looking forward to new lessons to be learned, new people to be interactive with, and new blessings to be grateful for.  Though I am very optimistic of all that's about to come my way, I am preparing myself for unexpected circumstances too.  Anything could happen so I should prepare myself and my Soul for all the challenges on The Path.

My birthday went by like a breeze.  I woke up early in the morning with a greeting from my mother and the challenge to face the day on my own.  I was supposed to have a birthday breakfast with O and A but I turned them down the night before because I already had an appointment which my mother eventually canceled at 5 in the morning.  So funny that was.  After many SMS exchanges with other friends, finally left the house around noon and found myself locked out from my errand. Since I had started to apply to a vegetarian diet since the First of May, it was quite stressful to find a place where I could avoid eating meat.  I ended up eating apple pie and fries at McDonald's and while munching my unhealthy birthday lunch I have received a message from my cousin that she has a gift for me.  I dropped by her parked car and was greeted with a big wet kiss from my niece who handed over my unexpected gift - a brand new touch screen phone!  How sweet!

When I went home in the afternoon, a thunderstorm arose and R who shares the same birth date said that we're blessed on our birthday.  Blessed we are indeed!  I didn't get to go to her birthday party since my relatives came over and brought a huge pizza and tubs of ice cream it would have been a shame to walk out on them.  A and I had a long chat on fb before midnight and swapped strings of words which I've been expecting for too long and now are finally out in the open and I acknowledge that I needed to "hear" those words regardless of how I really feel about certain aspects of my life.  

Four days hence, I am here right now writing down just some of the stuff I feel like sharing.  The other significant things are for me alone and I am grateful for all the great people and things that have come along my way.  

It's my first cycle and it's about time I make way for the opportunities that keep knocking on my heart's door!

I do hope I will be wiser and more sensible this year.  

And more compassionate, understanding and loving too.

I love GOD! :D

The End Is The Beginning...

A week before the World Convention, C and I had a conversation.  While the others thought that we will be able to rest after all the stress on the souvenirs, the play, and all the other activities and responsibilities in the Orders, we knew that the Big Night will not be the end but the beginning of more responsibilities that need our attention.

We were right.

On the night of the WC, after attending to what we needed to attend to, we both sat down at the Guru's table.  While the others were frolicking and enjoying the company of the other brothers and sisters from all over the country, we went outside and listened to what he had to say.  While the party hall was alive with mirth, the air outside was quite serious due to the topics the Guru revealed and discussed.  People who were on that table came and went; and there were very few of us who stayed until the night was over while there were some who didn't go near at all.  I wanted to "balance" my time by thinking of spending some time at the table and spending some time at the party and have fun with the rest.  However, I had a sudden "flash" of a story/event in the Bible when Jesus was in the home of Mary and Martha.  Mary just sat and listened to Jesus while Martha was busy doing all the stuff.  When Martha became pissed she told Jesus to tell her sister to help her with the chores but to her surprise, Jesus told her that Mary was doing the better thing - listening and contemplating on what he had to say.  So I didn't want to be on Martha mode that night and just sat there and listened.

These tumultuous times really need to be taken seriously.  The Golden Age is at hand, but there are forces which prevent it from flourishing by doing all that they could to to tip the scales and cause chaos.  We will be ready for that.  As required, we have to do our share by intensifying our meditation practices and doing better things in order to prepare ourselves for what is to come.  The Warriors of the Light should always be ready for the changes which might occur in the coming months.  

The Light always dispels the Darkness.  

Fiat Lux!

I Dreamt of Amarna

Trials, Errors, Prototypes

For many nights, I have been pressured to come up with the souvenirs that we will be giving away on the fast-approaching World Convention.  I wasn't the only one put up with the task but in the long run, I was left alone to crack my brains out and figure out what to make during the initial stages of the project.

Fast forward a few months later, my boss on the project said he wants something Egyptian.  Of course, a stream of ideas piled up and in the long run we decided on tablets with the faces of Akhenaten, Maat, and Nefertiti.  Fast forward a couple of weeks more, I have been bothered by the choice of designs.  A realization that came through a dream reminded me that in Akhenaten's reign, the Aten was placed above all the other deities of the Egyptian pantheon.  Maat should be pulled out from the equation and should be replaced by Aten.

I was glad that my boss gave me free reign on how I should come up with the prototypes and was given ample budget just to get things done.  We have decided to get it done with plaster of Paris and should be painted with different colors.  I had problems on how to put the base on the tablets but a dream helped me find a solution.

The mass production of the souvenirs had been paused for a few times because I was encouraged to come up with a convincing prototype that would meet the boss's standards.  One time I brought a sample still wet with paint and was told that it looked like a project of an elementary student.  I was pressured to give the best that I could give or the whole project will be terminated and the burden of its failure would have to rest on my shoulders since I did not set an organized time frame to get things done.  I was just glad that after so much pressure the prototypes finally had a seal of approval.

Now that was just the easy part.  After a week of insomnia and painstakingly producing plaster figurines with silicone molds, the cleaning part came next.  For sure I couldn't do it by myself with the little time left on the board and the boss and apprentice didn't have enough hands either.  That's the part where the rest of the team came in and though the beginning caused a misunderstanding, I am glad they volunteered to help.

It took us about three days of tiring cleaning (carving, smoothing) the plaster items before we finally had to paint them.  Not all of those who volunteered to help were experienced painters though they really did try their best to make the items look good.  However, the boss has such discriminating taste that he only wants the best to be distributed on the Big Day.  Nefertiti with her regal splendor was such a challenging lady, she had to be set aside and pulled out from the project because not everyone gave justice to her beauty.  Sleepless nights followed for painting and when we were finally done, we were tired.  Tired but fulfilled.

Amidst the tribulations and the obstacles that kept appearing on our path, we're finally done with our task.  I couldn't have done it without the souls who sacrificed their time, energy, effort, and sleep time just to get things done.  Love for God, Love for the Orders and Love for Service became the driving force of those who made the souvenirs.  May they have Cosmic blessings for the rest of this lifetime and in the next...  Now we can sleep.  

And I could now continue dreaming of Amarna, the land of the Aten in my previous life...

These folks made it into the goody bag! Bye Nef, until we meet again!

Ask And You Shall Receive

I asked for help from a Greater Power, for things and situations I know I would not be able to handle by myself. One prayer was answered last night and I have been quite ecstatic about it.  I hope the rest of my prayers will receive their answers soon.

All I have to do is ASK sincerely...and I trust that I will receive the answers that the Cosmic believes will be the best for me. After all, I am not doing all these things just for myself, I am doing this for a lot of people.

I decree that I will be able to finish my tasks successfully and I will have the necessary resources at my command by tomorrow (today), 13 April 2012, Friday afternoon. SO MOTE IT BE!

Child of the Universe

"You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should."

Enough said.  Thank YOU!

Yes

As much as I want to keep answering "Yes" to every question thrown my way, there are times when the only answer I could honestly give is my Silence.

Reset

Reset.  It is time to start anew.

For the past six or so months, I have been swimming in Limbo, not knowing exactly what I should do with the circumstances I have been presented with by the Cosmos.  A deluge of events (some more meaningful than I have expected) have drowned me and my seemingly calm mind.  The results are quite obvious -  I am taken aback and am still groping (in slight darkness) my way to recovery or something even better.

I am not the kind who wants concrete certainty in things which I am aware of are not permanent.  However, I yearn for focus in some aspects and I do hope that I will be able to establish what I really want to do for the rest of my life.

The past year had been very challenging and as I have said, the more recent months have gone overdrive and still here I am, optimistic and ready to see what the future has in store for me.

International Women's Day And The Divine Feminine

Today is International Women's Day and the first thing that crossed my mind this morning is the Divine Feminine and its various faces and characteristics which seem ironic and contradicting but nevertheless, ONE.

Let me share to you a translation of a Gnostic text which I believe encompasses the true nature of the Divine Feminine and of Woman/Women in various planes of existence.

THE THUNDER, PERFECT MIND

I was sent forth from the power,

and I have come to those who reflect upon me,

and I have been found among those who seek after me.

Look upon me, you who reflect upon me,

and you hearers, hear me.

You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves.

And do not banish me from your sight.

And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing.

Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard!

Do not be ignorant of me.

For I am the first and the last.

I am the honored one and the scorned one.

I am the whore and the holy one.

I am the wife and the virgin.

I am and the daughter.

I am the members of my mother.

I am the barren one

and many are her sons.

I am she whose wedding is great,

and I have not taken a husband.

I am the midwife and she who does not bear.

I am the solace of my labor pains.

I am the bride and the bridegroom,

and it is my husband who begot me.

I am the mother of my father

and the sister of my husband

and he is my offspring.

I am the slave of him who prepared me.

I am the ruler of my offspring.

But he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday.

And he is my offspring in (due) time,

and my power is from him.

I am the staff of his power in his youth,

and he is the rod of my old age.

And whatever he wills happens to me.

I am the silence that is incomprehensible

and the idea whose remembrance is frequent.

I am the voice whose sound is manifold

and the word whose appearance is multiple.

I am the utterance of my name.

Why, you who hate me, do you love me,

and hate those who love me?

You who deny me, confess me,

and you who confess me, deny me.

You who tell the truth about me, lie about me,

and you who have lied about me, tell the truth about me.

You who know me, be ignorant of me,

and those who have not known me, let them know me.

For I am knowledge and ignorance.

I am shame and boldness.

I am shameless; I am ashamed.

I am strength and I am fear.

I am war and peace.

Give heed to me.

I am the one who is disgraced and the great one.

Give heed to my poverty and my wealth.

Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon the earth,

and you will find me in those that are to come.

And do not look upon me on the dung-heap

nor go and leave me cast out,

and you will find me in the kingdoms.

And do not look upon me when I am cast out among those who

are disgraced and in the least places,

nor laugh at me.

And do not cast me out among those who are slain in violence.

But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.

Be on your guard!

Do not hate my obedience

and do not love my self-control.

In my weakness, do not forsake me,

and do not be afraid of my power.

For why do you despise my fear

and curse my pride?

But I am she who exists in all fears

and strength in trembling.

I am she who is weak,

and I am well in a pleasant place.

I am senseless and I am wise.

Why have you hated me in your counsels?

For I shall be silent among those who are silent,

and I shall appear and speak,

Why then have you hated me, you Greeks?

Because I am a barbarian among the barbarians?

For I am the wisdom of the Greeks

and the knowledge of the barbarians.

I am the judgement of the Greeks and of the barbarians.

I am the one whose image is great in Egypt

and the one who has no image among the barbarians.

I am the one who has been hated everywhere

and who has been loved everywhere.

I am the one whom they call Life,

and you have called Death.

I am the one whom they call Law,

and you have called Lawlessness.

I am the one whom you have pursued,

and I am the one whom you have seized.

I am the one whom you have scattered,

and you have gathered me together.

I am the one before whom you have been ashamed,

and you have been shameless to me.

I am she who does not keep festival,

and I am she whose festivals are many.

I, I am godless,

and I am the one whose God is great.

I am the one whom you have reflected upon,

and you have scorned me.

I am unlearned,

and they learn from me.

I am the one that you have despised,

and you reflect upon me.

I am the one whom you have hidden from,

and you appear to me.

But whenever you hide yourselves,

I myself will appear.

For whenever you appear,

I myself will hide from you.

Those who have [...] to it [...] senselessly [...].

Take me [... understanding] from grief.

and take me to yourselves from understanding and grief.

And take me to yourselves from places that are ugly and in ruin,

and rob from those which are good even though in ugliness.

Out of shame, take me to yourselves shamelessly;

and out of shamelessness and shame,

upbraid my members in yourselves.

And come forward to me, you who know me

and you who know my members,

and establish the great ones among the small first creatures.

Come forward to childhood,

and do not despise it because it is small and it is little.

And do not turn away greatnesses in some parts from the smallnesses,

for the smallnesses are known from the greatnesses.

Why do you curse me and honor me?

You have wounded and you have had mercy.

Do not separate me from the first ones whom you have known.

And do not cast anyone out nor turn anyone away

[...] turn you away and [... know] him not.

[...].

What is mine [...].

I know the first ones and those after them know me.

But I am the mind of [...] and the rest of [...].

I am the knowledge of my inquiry,

and the finding of those who seek after me,

and the command of those who ask of me,

and the power of the powers in my knowledge

of the angels, who have been sent at my word,

and of gods in their seasons by my counsel,

and of spirits of every man who exists with me,

and of women who dwell within me.

I am the one who is honored, and who is praised,

and who is despised scornfully.

I am peace,

and war has come because of me.

And I am an alien and a citizen.

I am the substance and the one who has no substance.

Those who are without association with me are ignorant of me,

and those who are in my substance are the ones who know me.

Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me,

and those who are far away from me are the ones who have known me.

On the day when I am close to you, you are far away from me,

and on the day when I am far away from you, I am close to you.

[I am ...] within.

[I am ...] of the natures.

I am [...] of the creation of the spirits.

[...] request of the souls.

I am control and the uncontrollable.

I am the union and the dissolution.

I am the abiding and I am the dissolution.

I am the one below,

and they come up to me.

I am the judgment and the acquittal.

I, I am sinless,

and the root of sin derives from me.

I am lust in (outward) appearance,

and interior self-control exists within me.

I am the hearing which is attainable to everyone

and the speech which cannot be grasped.

I am a mute who does not speak,

and great is my multitude of words.

Hear me in gentleness, and learn of me in roughness.

I am she who cries out,

and I am cast forth upon the face of the earth.

I prepare the bread and my mind within.

I am the knowledge of my name.

I am the one who cries out,

and I listen.

I appear and [...] walk in [...] seal of my [...].

I am [...] the defense [...].

I am the one who is called Truth

and iniquity [...].

You honor me [...] and you whisper against me.

You who are vanquished, judge them (who vanquish you)

before they give judgment against you,

because the judge and partiality exist in you.

If you are condemned by this one, who will acquit you?

Or, if you are acquitted by him, who will be able to detain you?

For what is inside of you is what is outside of you,

and the one who fashions you on the outside

is the one who shaped the inside of you.

And what you see outside of you, you see inside of you;

it is visible and it is your garment.

Hear me, you hearers

and learn of my words, you who know me.

I am the hearing that is attainable to everything;

I am the speech that cannot be grasped.

I am the name of the sound

and the sound of the name.

I am the sign of the letter

and the designation of the division.

And I [...].

(3 lines missing)

[...] light [...].

[...] hearers [...] to you

[...] the great power.

And [...] will not move the name.

[...] to the one who created me.

And I will speak his name.

Look then at his words

and all the writings which have been completed.

Give heed then, you hearers

and you also, the angels and those who have been sent,

and you spirits who have arisen from the dead.

For I am the one who alone exists,

and I have no one who will judge me.

For many are the pleasant forms which exist in numerous sins,

and incontinencies,

and disgraceful passions,

and fleeting pleasures,

which (men) embrace until they become sober

and go up to their resting place.

And they will find me there,

and they will live,

and they will not die again.

Source

May all of you have a blessed day.  Let us celebrate Womanhood and the Divine Feminine not only today, but every day!