My Cup Overflows

Two of Cups - Love
Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot

What is LOVE?

Oh my, why did I type that down?  That very short three-word question could seem harmless but it could spew out more than a billion answers from more or less seven billion souls that are existing in this mundane plane.  Each answer varies depending on the soul's age, background, experience, location, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.... I don't know what made me ask such a question, it is actually a no-brainer... It doesn't need to have an answer because whatever answer every soul may present, there is Truth in each answer.  

A couple of weeks ago I was in my "other" sanctum (where more magickal and mystical "revelations" spark up from nothingness) when something hit my info-overloaded brain.  The sight of flowing water and an overflowing pail got the alarms in my inner ears whining and just made me realize about what Love is to my understanding.  My comprehension of what Love is may seem mundane since I have not attained anything much because I am such an indolent practitioner of the techniques which are supposed to help me evolve into a better Soul.  Nevertheless, I do believe that some things and realizations reveal themselves to us whenever we are ready to digest them in the way they are supposed to be understood.

My cup overflows....

I never expected that my three-word question of the day would be countered by a three-word "answer" and to my surprise, it is a line from a verse from the Bible's Psalm 23.  I don't know the whole 23rd Psalm by heart but I knew that "my cup overflows" or "my cup runneth over" are among the words to be found in it.  I never really connected the whole Psalm to be the answer of what Love really is but now as I am writing this and as I am re-reading it, I think they could be connected after all. (My goodness, I got a feeling this is going to be a loooong post...)

Love has no expectations...

I have mentioned in a previous post that since this year started, I have tried to live my life with no expectations.  I TRIED but since I am still full of attachments, there are times I do have my lapses.  However, every time I fall down and fall prey to my own illusions, what my friend Ai told me way back always resonates in my head -- "If you don't have expectations, you will not have disappointments." (or something like that.)  I do agree and that could be applied on all aspects of a Soul's existence.  Following that line of thought, it could also be applied on the topic of Love (what ever kind of Love that may be... Love in any form is still LOVE.)

Many a Soul have said or written that Love is unconditional.  If Love is indeed such, then it has no expectations right?  I don't know if it it may seem shallow or maybe I am just too ignorant of what I am writing about but I believe that giving Love is even greater than receiving Love.  I have read somewhere that Love is a verb - a word that signifies an action.  In order to know what Love really is, one must put it into action and comparing the giving of Love to the receiving of Love, I feel better in the giving part.  I don't know if it works the same for other people but then I am aware there are more who feel happier or so when they are on the receiving end.

I may or may not be fully aware that Love should be received too.  I want to think that I am not expecting anything but since I am in a constant cycle of looking within myself, maybe in a way, I am expecting too?  Am I?  I am still on the process of finding out but I want my answer to be: I am not expecting anything in return because I find more joy in giving than receiving.  Bahhh... I don't know.  I feel dumb for writing that down but I am not going to delete or strike through what I have written down so far.  

Is Love really selfless?

For those who have become illumined Souls, the answer would be a resounding YES.  However, for somebody who is still crawling out from the dark, an amalgam of conflicting emotions could not formulate an unambiguous answer.  The trappings of a mundane human existence could cloud up the eyes of any seeker when it comes to a point that a crystal clear affirmation is required of such a creepy question.  Yes, creepy.  It is a magnanimous question that requires a genuinely humble answer and at this state, I could not say that Love is indeed selfless.  

The world is more complicated now than it had been before.  People of ancient times were more intelligent than us even though they had simpler lives.  Nowadays most of us have made our own lives complicated and some of us are too stupid to figure out that we have the power to change our lives and our Selves.  Change is the only constant thing in this world and we can't escape from it however, some of us love clinging on to our old ways and selves, we'd rather stay in the dark than become enlightened.

One challenge for somebody who has been in the dark for too long is to accept change and to embrace the light and everything that comes with it whether they may be good or bad.  Shakespeare's Hamlet said that "there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so," and I agree with that.  How one thinks or processes perceptions makes something good or bad.  For somebody like me who still has not "slain" the Ego, anything overwhelmingly humbling is not good on my list.  I believe I need to get my Self straight because I am not drunk at the moment.  Oh well, maybe I am drunk -- with the most recent blows and arrows I have received from the Cosmic.

When you are full due to your own efforts, you will never be empty when you are by yourSelf...

Let's revert to the main reason why I am typing the minutes away composing this post instead of finishing my articles.  The realization that when one learns to Love oneself in spite of one's faults and imperfections has been very humbling.  A lot of people nowadays are seeking Love from outside of themselves.  Every Soul having a human experience must have been programmed to feel that way.  I have felt that way too and I am trying no to be like that anymore but there are times in deep meditation when I am confronted with the faults within myself that I have been trying to throw out as junk.  Well hello, hello!  I am so stupid to forget that whatever junk I throw out to the Cosmic will surely come back to me and hit me in the face!  

A striking "revelation" it was when I saw the pail overflow with water.  A pail is a vessel, like a cup, it holds in water.  Water is the element that is usually associated with emotions, compassion, healing, psychic abilities and intuition as well as Love.  In magick, the tool or weapon that accompanies water is the cup.  In Tarot, the Suit of Cups is associated with water.  

If  I am allowed to use the symbolism of the image of the Two of Cups above, I could somehow connect it with that "realization" a couple of weeks ago.  We people are the cups, and water is Love.  Since most of us live a rather "empty" existence, we'd be glad if somebody would fill up our cups for us.  We can't deny it that some of us would just want to receive Love from others and not do our parts.  That's the problem; whenever there will be nobody to fill up that emptiness, we run dry and become parched, and become discontented with everything that comes our way.     

The quest for restoring the Self begins...    

When we have run dry, we could not stay too long in that state.  We become unsatisfied and time will come when we will search for water.  Only the dead would not want to quench that thirst.  Those who still cling on to dear life would want redemption from such a sorry state and try to LIVE.  But then, what is life if Love is not present?  Should we go on searching for other people to fill in our cups in order to make us feel alive again?  NO.  Not really... Maybe...

The answer really depends on every person.  However, the realization that hit me on this long and arduous process of putting some sense into mySelf made things a bit clearer than they were.  The answers to my questions are at hand all along.  What most people say is indeed true that we don't need to look far away for the answers to our questions; sometimes, the questions themselves are the answers!  

Self-Love is not a new concept but it breaks the barriers to the old notions that selfishness brings.  Loving the Self does not necessarily mean that you shut yourself out from others because you are better off on your own.  Loving the Self could mean giving the Self a chance to have a human existence that could help the Self learn and become free from ignorance.  The purpose why we are here in this world is to LEARN and through learning, we burn old karma, and eventually liberate our Souls from another round of crap.

We fill our own cups but we must first tap into The Source...

Yes, that is the sad reality that we must face - we fill our own cups!  If we don't learn how to Love ourSelves, who would bother sharing their Love to us? Accepting our own faults, transgressions, and imperfections and learning to Love who we really are is one step towards Self-realization.  The best friend and worst enemy we could ever have in this world is the outer Self and it would take a lot of pride-swallowing in order to make amends with that Self we consciously and unconsciously destroy so the real inner Self could emerge.

When we learn to Love ourSelves and we learn to fill our cups with the waters of Love, we will not be empty anymore.  Now where or what is this fount, this source of Love that we could get the water from to fill our cups?  Others may react to what I am about to write down or say but well, this is how it came to me.  This is the "answer" I have painstakingly repressed:  GOD.  The Source.  The Creator. Divine Love.  The Cosmic.

I have distanced mySelf from The Source for the longest time and when that day came when I have asked if I am still a part of all this Creation, I have been welcomed with a warm embrace.  Like a lost lamb, I have been led back into the fold and given the chance to appreciate the grace freely given to those who seek it.  

Following this stream of consciousness, this is where some lines of Psalm 23 come in as relevant.  

"He leads me beside still waters, He restores my Soul."  The waters are there, so still and my Soul will be restored, I need not seek for anything else... All I need to do is drink and have my fill!  It's so easy but most of the time I falter and become lazy, I fail to put water in my cup!  

"In the presence of my enemies you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows." As I have mentioned above, the worst enemy one could have is the outer Self or to put it bluntly, the Ego.  Our Egos are very powerful and strong in keeping us away from The Source and from our real inner Selves.  It is quite a struggle to accept our "enemies" but whether we win over them or not, as long as we try to let our true Selves come out and become who we are supposed to be, The Source will still give us grace and Love, and with that grace and Love, our emptiness will be dispelled.  All we need to do is do what we are supposed to do, and fill our cups on the process so that we don't need to search for that Love and grace from other sources.  

Let it flow...

Now, since I have typed down that Love is supposed to be Selfless, then it has become a challenge that must be recognized and put to test as I walk the path to higher consciousness.  Love is a verb and to give love is challenging enough but receiving Love is far more difficult to muster for somebody who still has too much pride to swallow.  There's so much love in the world and if there are a lot who are willing to give, there should be people humble enough to receive Love.  Most of us are scared of receiving Love because we are wary that it may have conditions or expectations attached with it.  Why do we think that way?  Is it because we also give Love away but we have expectations attached to it?  Maybe...maybe not...  

The flow of Love goes both ways.  If we don't realize it, we will become stuck.  We just don't need to expect that the kind of Love we give will be returned in the same form.  Romantic Love, filial Love, Divine Love, whatever kind of Love that may be, it really doesn't matter... it is still Love and our duty as cups is to hold in enough of that water/Love for ourselves and we let it flow out so that others' cups will overflow too.  

If there's more Love in this world, surely there will be little or no room for hate and other negative emotions.


So, what is Love???

I don't know.  Love doesn't need to be defined.  Some say that Love is the greatest force in the Universe.  Some say that Love is the Law.

I DON'T KNOW...
I DON'T KNOW...
I DON'T KNOW...
I DON'T KNOW....  I would just have to let my cup overflow!       

Chanting Om mani padme hum triggered all these stuff to flow out from my fingers.  I want to write more but I guess I'll save that story for another post...


Om Shanti Om!